To suffer or not to suffer? That is the question.

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”

– David Horton (Ran the Pacific Crest Trail, 4203KM in 66 days and 11 hours at 56 years of age)

Here's my question: At what point does pain becoming suffering, and how do you know the difference?

Here's what good old Google told me about pain and suffering. Pain: a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder. Suffering: the bearing of pain, inconvenience, or loss; pain endured. So, from those definitions, my little brain concludes that pain is physical and suffering is emotional. About suffering, the words that stand out really boldly for me are "pain endured". If this is true, then my next question is: can there be chronic pain without suffering? And even further than that: do I experience chronic pain because I chose to suffer? I'll just declare this last question as "edgy". I can't say that I have the answer for any of these questions. But I recognize that being curious about it is always helpful. So, why am I wondering about all this anyways? Well, I live with chronic pain. I have had migraines everyday for over 7 years. Basically, I have a never-ending hang-over. Yup! Good-times! Here's my next question: how can I explore the difference between pain and suffering in my body? I figure, if suffering lives in my head... I better get out of there to get some insights. Over the years, I have gained amazing tools to access the part of me that knows without thinking, the part that knows without suffering. I call this my inner wisdom. Here are my main tools: connect (to body), notice, be curious, tell yourself more... If I tell myself more about my suffering, I notice that I have an attachment to how my body felt before the pain began. In that sense, I am grieving the loss of my old body, my body of the past. So by holding on to what my body once felt like, I am choosing to suffer. What would it be like to be with today's body, my body, right now, in this moment, just as it is, without trying to fix or change anything? Well, I can only imagine that this question will only bring me closer to my truth and further away from my suffering, from my attachment to what once was. Here's my ultimate question to myself: could all this healing stuff be fun? I would like to think that, to some extent, it can be. Here's a really fun way to explore the different layers of yourself. Come into tree pose with a soft gaze. After a few breaths, slowly close your eyes. Notice what happens to your balance. Ask yourself: what is it like to let go of what's around me and go deeper within myself. Try it the opposite way on the other side. Start with your eyes closed then open them. What's happening now? To what extent can you notice the different layers of yourself? In that same sense, to what extent can you notice the different layers of your pain or suffering? My conclusion is that, within my body, there are no conclusions, only deeper awareness of what is happening in this moment.